I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
do herpes really smell.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize