i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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