If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
