no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
