I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
