Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
