Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need water and some morals
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
