Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..