My room smells like vodka and shame
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.