is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
