At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
