We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
