i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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