overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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