that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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