mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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