3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
