Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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