Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
