I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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