Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
