i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
