I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
