The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
