Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hippo gnu deer
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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