I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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