I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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