Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
