I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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