so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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