i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
