Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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