Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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