The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize