I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
