They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
