where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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