The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't deserve a penis
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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