he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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