okay pat passed out under dana's car
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
