i permit you to call me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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