I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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