yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
