So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
