my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
