Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
