I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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