I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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