he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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