i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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