I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
