Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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