Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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