can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
