I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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