I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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