my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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