i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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