Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
