God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
