Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize