what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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