I think I am morally bankrupt
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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