The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
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with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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