You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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