The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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