You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The uberlube is also flammable
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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