Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
