just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You were trust falling into bushes
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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