Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
