You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
